


Ghost

by Anonymous



Category: Twosetviolin
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, First Kiss, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:30:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21578359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: What does Brett want?He’s not sure about much, but he knows this for sure: Eddy is what he wants.(Obligingly disclaimer: if you’re featured please definitely don’t read this one, I mean literally zero offense and I apologize for writing this.)
Relationships: Eddy Chen/Brett Yang
Comments: 5
Kudos: 61
Collections: Anonymous





	Ghost

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So I’m uploading from mobile, while I’m in London. It’s wild. But anywho, I know it’s not another chapter of Demonic Influence, but I’ve been struggling with some complex feelings recently and decided to write a piece about it. 
> 
> I didn’t mean for it to be TSV, but here we are and it’s over two thousand words. (I almost feel bad that I wrote it about real people, cause it’s a little dark for my general taste.) It’s literal word vomit, with an ending open to your interpretation, as well as many parts throughout it being open and ambiguous, seeing as it’s kind of a perspective thing to determine if you understand the “meaning” or whatever. So enjoy this I guess, and I’m sorry it’s so bad.
> 
> !!!THIS IS A SONGFIC!!!  
Also not usually my style, but this is based off of the lyrics of Ghost by Halsey.

_ I’m searching for something that I can't reach _

If Brett knew what he wanted, he might be able to finally shake that feeling in his chest that something was off, something was wrong. 

Eddy pushed roughly past him as soon as they were done filming, though the action had no malice. “Sorry dude,” he said quickly, patting him on the shoulder. “Just gonna be late, going out to meet my girlfriend.” 

“Yeah, yeah, get out of here,” Brett murmured, frowning only as he heard the door slam behind Eddy. 

_ I don't like them innocent _

_ I don't want no face fresh _

Brett was in love with Eddy. This was how it was, this was how it always would be. 

Well, he was pretty sure at least. It was nothing more than a messy ball of emotions, something Brett had taken one look at years ago and thought  _ oh hell no,  _ turning away and leaving them for another day. But for years now, he had felt this draw to Eddy that simple friendship couldn’t explain away.

He didn’t know why, he couldn’t explain it to you if he tried. What even drew him to the taller boy? When he was with Eddy, he couldn’t think. Nothing was as it should be, shrouded in a veil of fantasy. It was picturesque and perfect, and his feelings took the time to spiral and twist, flushing his cheeks and making him stumble over easy syllables. 

But when they were apart, Brett couldn’t care less. Eddy was nothing more than a passing thought in the night, a minor inconvenience. He was his friend, of course, but that fluttery feeling was just  _ absent. _

He didn’t understand.

_ Want them wearing leather _

_ Begging let me be your taste test _

Eddy had come home with tears in his eyes and his lips bitten raw and bloody. It had taken Brett too long to react, to give a startled yelp and scramble to his friend’s aid. 

It was all a blur, the tears didn’t let up, and neither did the subtle tugging at Brett’s heartstrings. All he knew was that Eddy was there and Eddy was unhappy and Eddy needed him. Eddy would always need him to be there for him. 

Time went on, though it didn’t seem to.

And they were kissing now. Brett didn’t know how it had happened, but Eddy’s hands were tangled in his hair and Brett could taste salt as he kissed him back harder.

He didn’t quite understand it, but as they were kissing and they weren’t talking, and everything just felt right. But if that was the case, then why did that twisted feeling in his stomach only keep growing with each passing moment?

It wasn’t pretty, it was frantic and more than a little bit desperate. Eddy was touching him like he was his lifeline, letting out these little noises every time Brett nipped at his already bruised lips. 

When they finally pulled apart, Brett’s lips were as swollen as Eddy’s. “Dude,” he managed to make out. “What was-“

Eddy shook his head definitively. “Don’t.” His haze flicked back down from Brett’s eyes to his lips. “It’s nothing.”

When Eddy kissed him a second time, Brett didn't complain.

_ I like the sad eyes, bad guys _

_ Mouth full of white lies _

“Wow, how long have you two been close?” The girl giggled, tucking her hair behind one ear. The music blared loudly behind them, some pop song Brett wouldn’t have been able to recognize even if he wanted to. 

Eddy let out a small laugh from his spot on the couch, reaching over and pulling Brett closer to himself with an arm around his shoulder. ”Oh, we’ve been friends since high school. Yeah, me and Brett go way back.” His fingers were cold, his smile so drastically opposite. In his other hand, he gripped a styrofoam cup. “Love you, bro,” he said teasingly in Brett’s direction. 

Brett made a face. “Love you too,” he heard himself say. He wasn’t even sure if he really meant it anymore.  _ Lies, lies, lies,  _ his brain chanted.  _ Shut up,  _ he forced himself to think. 

_ Kiss me in the corridor  _

_ But quick to tell me goodbye  _

They don’t talk about it. Of course they don’t. But Eddy is single again, and Brett is just tired. He hates the way he stares when Eddy runs his long fingers through his hair, hates the way he can’t help but gawk even as Eddy cracks his neck and stretches out, catlike, in the sun. 

But most of all, he hates the way that Eddy grins every time he catches him in the act, his eyes still trailing across his body, like Eddy knows something Brett doesn’t. It’s unfair, and Brett is tired of it. 

He must have kissed Eddy a thousand times. They all blur together. If they aren’t arguing, they’re sitting there, intertwined. It’s all or nothing, their relationship is passionate or just numb. They’re with one another till the end of the line, or they’re three seconds away from tearing each other’s throats out. 

Eddy’s never looked so alive. He thrives off of this, this game of cat and mouse, and every day, Brett feels like he‘s lost a little more of himself. 

He’d give himself over for Eddy in a heartbeat.

He’s never felt so alien in his own skin. 

_ You say that you’re no good for me _

_ Cause I’m always tugging at your sleeve  _

So what if he’s being unnaturally codependent? Brett all but bares his teeth and growls at a passing girl, doing nothing more than smiling politely in Eddy’s direction. 

The taller boy just smirks and pats Brett on the head gently.  _ How cute,  _ his expression seems to say.  _ All this just for little old me?  _

Brett frowns at that. He’s still frowning later, even as Eddy shoves his tongue down his throat.

_ And I swear I hate it when you leave  _

_ I like it anyway _

He should end it. This complex enigma of a relationship drains him, leaves him parched for what only a kiss can cure and tired of feeling jealous. 

The tornado that is Eddy Chen swept its way into his life and ruined him, left him all but bleeding out in the shallows. He’s too much and not enough, all at once. Brett doesn’t know what to think. He doesn’t want to think.

He’s grown too complicit in Eddy’s actions, he relies too much on the other boy now too, he thinks with a rush of fear. The realization shakes him to his very core. 

He’s addicted to this poison, addicted to this deadly game of call and response. He’s addicted to the taste of Eddy’s lips on his own, to the comfort of knowing he’ll have someone there when he walks through the door, no matter how ruined they make one another. But most importantly, he’s addicted to the fantasy, the lost love, and what could have been. 

Brett winces as Eddy kisses him again, and he doesn’t end it. 

_ My ghost _

_ Where’d you go? _

_ I can’t find you in the body sleeping next to me _

It’s too late. He’s in too deep. Deep shadows slide slowly across both of their faces. Eddy’s arm was clasped across his chest, pulling him closer to the sleeping boy beside him. 

Brett could feel his body prickle, pins and needles. He tried to shy away from Eddy, just enough to feel like he could breathe again, but his grip was too tight. Brett found it comparable to the grip that Eddy had on his mind. So he sits there, and tries not to suffocate in the moonlight.

_ My ghost _

_ Where’d you go? _

_ What happened to the soul you used to be? _

It just hurt. Everything hurt, Eddy’s carefree smile, the way he tucked her hair behind her ear, her laughing at his stupid jokes. It felt like a pit, deep inside of him, gnawing at his insides. 

But Eddy was happy. He was finally happy, and Brett wasn’t going to be the one to take that away from him. She was nice, and pretty, and funny, and everything that he wasn’t. 

And if he wanted to talk to this girl on the side, then fine. Let him talk. It didn’t matter, in the end. 

At night, Eddy would come back to him and kiss him until he couldn’t breathe, until falling felt like flying. 

It wasn’t a big deal, it’s not like they were dating. 

He would come around eventually.

_ You’re a Rolling Stone boy  _

_ Never sleep alone boy _

_ Got a million numbers _

_ And they’re filling up your phone, boy _

They were at another party. There was always one party or another, nowadays. They were either alone together, or out together. Brett didn’t know which of those options he preferred anymore. He just wanted his life back. 

The punch was spiked, and after a few too many cups, they sat alone in a booth in the corner. Eddy was grinning at him in that way he did when he thought he knew something Brett didn’t, and his arm was around his shoulder.

His arm was always around Brett’s shoulder. It was that, or he was toying with Brett’s hair, or he was playing with the buttons on Brett’s coat. He was fed up with it. He missed sitting around casually. Couldn’t they just be friends again, for five minutes? 

It all just felt like too much. The neon lights, the shitty baseline, the sickeningly sweet taste of the punch coating his mouth. He couldn’t deal with it. 

“Don’t touch me!” The words were thrown into the open, far too extreme for the situation, yet not weighty enough. Brett couldn’t get the feel of Eddy’s weight off of him fast enough. His skin felt like it was crawling, and he was definitely overheating. 

Eddy looked stunned. “But…” he started, confused. He had every right to be. 

Because why would Brett bring feelings into this in the first place? 

“Just…” Brett struggled to find the right words. “Just don’t touch me for a little bit, give me some time.” 

“I thought you liked cuddling,” Eddy said, a hint of accusation dancing at the edge of his tone. 

“I- I do,” Brett responded, arms hugging at his own chest. “Just, not right now. Please.” 

Eddy sighed, crossing his arms. Brett had three more minutes before a familiar weight settled down on his shoulders again. He just closed his eyes and did his best to smile. There was nothing left but dread in his stomach.

_ I'm off the deep end sleeping  _

_ All night through the weekend _

They were fighting again. That’s definitely what was going on. If he didn’t care so much, they wouldn’t be continuing this argument. If Eddy didn’t care so much, they wouldn’t be having this argument in the first place. 

“What do you think I am, just another hit and run?” Eddy cried out, tears pouring down his face. “Just another toy to sling around and toss me in the garbage when you’re done using me?” 

“You want the truth?” Brett fired back, angrily. “You want me to tell you what I’m really thinking right now?” 

“Yes, Brett!” Eddy sounded exasperated. He was so pretty when he cried, tears glistening in his eyes. “Because that’s what couples do, they talk to one another!” 

“Oh, so we’re a couple now? I wasn’t aware we were bringing feelings into it!” Brett all but snarled out, missing the way that Eddy’s expression dropped into shock. 

“You… you didn’t think we were bringing feelings into it?” The taller boy whispered, biting his lip. “You didn’t have feelings for me?”

“That’s not what I said.”

There was a long moment of silence. “Then close your eyes, and tell me if you still have feelings for me after this,” Eddy finally said. 

Brett obliged him with a huff. 

It was soft at first, nothing more than a brush over his lips. Something soft, something safe, something comforting. Eddy’s hand was ghosting across his cheek, almost as though he were afraid to shatter him. Eddy was tentative. 

Too tentative.

With a small growl, Brett kissed him back, one of his hands going to the back of Eddy’s head, all but knocking the taller boy’s away from his face. He deepened the kiss, and Eddy melted into his touch, smiling into the kiss. 

When they broke apart, their breathing was heavy. Brett felt like he was high. 

“I love you,” Eddy whispered, touching his forehead to Brett’s. Brett could feel the emotion he conveyed through that statement, despite its simplicity. 

“I love you too,” he replied, voice void of emotion. Eddy just smiled wider, oblivious.

_ Saying that I love him _

_ But I know I’m gonna leave him _

Oh, who was he kidding? He could never leave this behind.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, or at least felt some feelings. I know I’ve been feeling some.


End file.
